The Days Of Men

On March the 8th, 2014 Google proudly put up the following doodle. The occasion was that of the International Women's Day. It made me happy. Happy about the fact that the world does pay attention to the cause of womanhood and that women in general, feel the solemn sense of pride that must be solely theirs to have been a woman - on a special day, just dedicated to them.


Not many know and fewer give a damn but today is International Men's Day. I know .. You may now go ahead and laugh it out. Google shares my view and very creatively put this up to mark the day. I'm not taking offense because as they say- after all, every day of the year is a Man's day, free to strut about, feeling awesomely male and invincibly virile. The reactions to the existence of a "Men's Day" is a mile wide and an inch deep. - Ranging from "How dare they... " to "Why do they even need one ...". It ranges from astonishment, to ridicule, to plain indifference.  And this makes me feel a little let down. Not that a particular designated day does anything significant for my self esteem as a man, but just that no one seems to give a damn.

Despite thousands of years of so called civilization of the human race, we remain majorly a patriarchal world and there is no denying that. And therein lies my inherent support for the cause of Women's rights. Having said that though, I sometimes feel, maybe incorrectly, that Men's issues hardly make it to the agenda and I wonder why..! I mean to most of us - What even are "men's issues"  - do they even exist ?!  Yes they do and its sad men, and more importantly, women are silent about it, despite being champions of the fight against gender bias.

On average, every year, more men around the world will be diagnosed of prostate cancer than women for breast cancer. While I read about a fund raiser for breast cancer just two days ago, I cannot recall one instance in my entire life of even a roadside pamphlet on the former. I don't claim the medical community to have been biased or some male obsessed argument of the like.  It is just that while disease and death is gender neutral, the attention and keenness for awareness is not; and that ought not to be the case. Millions of dollars are spent for support in cases of single motherhood, domestic violence etc. All usually under the blanket term of "Women's Aid/empowerment". Agreed, when it comes to domestic violence or workplace harrassment- men are much less susceptible compared to women, but is that reason enough to pay less heed to a victim just because he is a man and should 'take care of his own shit'..?! I think not. And its not like male victims are all that a fringe either. As per statistics in India, 53% of victims of child abuse are boys !

And this brings me to my next point. To many, it is difficult to comprehend that men can even be abused. Aren't guys meant to always like it..? No. We don't. We are all so fed full on media junk about the male obsession for boobs, sex and everything vaginal that rape of a man is beyond comprehension. Somehow, I feel that it is demeaning above almost everything- that we are this peculiar creation of nature that is forever consumed by lust- and for whom predation and procreation is by far, the defining instinct. Rape victims are provided anonymity, not rape accused- especially if male. In fact, in the eyes of the general public, a male accused is guilty before trial. Not every one is a rapist, molester or wife beater. In fact, an overwhelming majority is not. Unfortunately on the flip side, male rape, molestation or physically abused is a story no newspaper reports, no news channel covers and very few organizations care about.

Speaking of organizations by the way, just a passing glance  and two cents on gender ratio at workplace. Choosing female applicants at job interviews to maintain gender ratio is not gender equality but the stark opposite of it. Women more often than not, take offence to this "male claim" and its not difficult see their point; but only after acknowledging the existence of a minor  misinterpretation. As a disclaimer, no one is saying a woman is going to make it to a job just because she is a woman. Women slog hard, very hard at college to get their degrees - nonetheless they are not exclusive in this pursuit. The male classmate slogged just as hard. Merit and business requirement should dictate hiring; not 'gender ratio at workplace'. Reductio ad absurdum: Why is there no discussion on gender ratio in coal mining, hazardous waste disposal ? Women empowerment does not start at the HR department of a company. It starts  earlier, much much earlier. It starts at home, at kindergarten where going or not going to school and continuing there, and attending college later is not a decision made on the fact of a child being a boy or a girl. Hiring solely to maintain/improve gender ratio is not gender equality, its gender bias. A freebie which eventually robs her of self and peer side respect.

As confession, Yes ! This is a rant. Consequently, not all points may follow strictly logical reasoning. It is a vent to some bottled up frustration resulting from all the propaganda that dubs us collectively as sexual perverts, violent miscreants, emotionally insufficient jerks. Propaganda that makes us feel apologetic of every harm that was ever done to a lady; which by the way does no good to anyone or any cause. Propaganda that almost makes us feel ashamed for the very accident of birth as a male. Opinions and common 'wisdom' that I can never love my daughter or my son as much as their mother. And this is neither fair nor acceptable.

The average guy can be any of the following. He could be the son who wants to make the most of his talents to prove his worth to the world, to his parent and most importantly to himself. He could be a brother who would fight with and for his sister. He could also be the husband or the partner who would and does happily give up everything for a smile on her face. He could be the father under whose fortitude, every child has sought emotional refuge and security. He could be a friend with whom you share stories and gossip over a cup of coffee and some cookies. 

He could also be the guy who likes to laze on his messy bed on a Sunday afternoon, the guy who loves to discuss cars, superheroes, the new girl in the dorm and global warming or he could be just a guy who wants to sit by a lake simply throwing rocks into the water and be a complete bloke.

Less bashing. More bonding.