On March
the 8th, 2014 Google proudly put up the following doodle. The occasion was that
of the International Women's Day. It made me happy. Happy about the fact that
the world does pay attention to the cause of womanhood and that women in
general, feel the solemn sense of pride that must be solely theirs to have been
a woman - on a special day, just dedicated to them.
Not many know and
fewer give a damn but today is International Men's Day. I know .. You may now go ahead and laugh it out. Google
shares my view and very creatively put this up to mark the day. I'm not taking
offense 'cause as they say- after all every day of the year is a Man's day, free
to strut about, feeling awesomely male and invincibly virile. The reactions to
the existence of a "Men's Day" is a mile wide and an inch deep though-
ranging from "How dare they... " to "Why do they even need one ...".
It ranges from astonishment, to ridicule, to plain indifference. And this makes me feel a little let down. Not
because a particular designated day does anything significant for my self
esteem as a man but just that no one seems to give a damn.
Despite thousands of years of so called civilization of the
human race, we remain majorly a patriarchal world and there is no denying that.
And therein lies my inherent support for the cause of Women's rights. Having
said that though, I sometimes feel, maybe incorrectly, that Men's issues hardly
make it to the agenda on meetings and I wonder why..! I mean to most of us -
What even are "men's issues" -
do they even exist ?! Yes they do and its
sad men, and more importantly, women are silent about it, despite being
champions of the fight against gender bias.
On average, every year, more men around the world will be
diagnosed of prostate cancer than women for breast cancer. While I read about a
fund raiser for breast cancer just two days back, I cannot recall one instance
in my entire life of even a roadside pamphlet on the former. I don't claim the
medical community to have been biased or some male obsessed argument of the
like. Just that while disease and death is
gender neutral, the attention and keenness for awareness is not; and that is
not right. Millions of dollars are spent for support in cases of single
motherhood, domestic violence etc. All usually under the blanket term of "Women's
Aid" . Agreed, when it comes to domestic violence or workplace exploitation-
men are less susceptible compared to women, but is that reason enough to pay
less heed to a victim just because he is a man and should 'take care of his own
shit'..?! I think not. And its not like we are all that a fringe either. As per
statistics in India, 53% of victims of child abuse are boys !
And this brings me to my next point. To many, it is difficult
to comprehend that men can even be abused. Aren't guys meant to always like it..? No. We don't. We are
all so fed full on media junk about the male obsession for boobs, sex and everything
vaginal that rape of a man is beyond comprehension. Somehow I feel that it is demeaning above almost
everything- that we are this peculiar creation of nature that is forever consumed by lust- and for
whom lust is by faa...aaaar, the defining instinct. Rape victims are provided
anonymity, not rape accused-especially if male. In fact, in the eyes of the
general public, he is guilty before trial. Not every one of us is a rapist,
molester or wife beater. And by the way, every now and then we are also the ones raped, molested or physically abused whose story no newspaper reports, no news
channel covers and very few organizations care about.
Speaking of organizations by the way, just a passing glance
on gender ratio at workplace. Choosing female applicants at job interviews to
maintain gender ratio is not gender equality but the stark opposite of it.
Women more often than not, take offence to this "male claim" and its
not difficult see their point; but only after acknowledging the existence of a minor misinterpretation. Just to clarify, no one is saying
a woman is going to make it to a job just because she is a woman. Women slog hard,
very hard at college to get their degrees - nonetheless they are not exclusive in this pursuit.
Your male classmate slogged just as hard. Merit and only merit should dictate
hiring; not 'gender ratio at workplace'. Women empowerment does not start at the HR
department of a company. It starts
earlier, much much earlier. It starts at kindergarten where going or not
going to school and continuing there, and attending college later is not a
decision made on the fact of a child being a boy or a girl. Hiring preference
to maintain/improve gender ratio is not gender equality; its gender bias, a
freebie which eventually robs her of self and peer side respect.
As confession, Yes ! This is a rant. A vent to some bottled up frustrations resulting from all the propaganda that dubs us collectively as sexual perverts, violent miscreants, emotionally insufficient jerks. Propaganda that makes us feel apologetic of every harm that was ever done to a lady; which by the way does no good to anyone or any cause. Propaganda that almost makes us feel ashamed for the very accident of birth as a male. Opinions and common 'wisdom' that I can never love my daughter or my son as much as their mother. And this is neither fair nor acceptable.
We are not all that bad. He could be a son who wants
to make the most of his talents to prove his worth to the world, to his parent
and most importantly to himself. He could be a brother who would fight with but more importantly, for his sister. He could also be the husband or the lover who
would happily give up everything for a smile on her face. He could be the
father under whose fortitude, every child has sought emotional refuge and security.
He could be a friend with whom you share stories and gossip over a cup of
coffee and some cookies.
He could also be the guy who likes to laze on his messy bed
on a Sunday afternoon, the guy who loves to discuss cars, superheroes, the new
girl in the dorm and global warming or he could be just a guy who wants to sit
by a lake simply throwing rocks into the water and be a complete bloke.
Believe me, we are not all that bad.
